The First Star I See Tonight - By Browny <Browny_@email.com>
Rated PG | 19KB | Archived 08.00.99
Spoilers: 01x13 Rhapsody In Blue
Summary: Down time on Moya written by a warped fan :)
Disclaimer: Farscape and all of its "distinct personalities flying around a
strange universe in a (now pregnant) organic star ship *" do NOT belong to
me. I am just borrowing them for a while, promise to put them back when I am
done. *That quote came from http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com, I am using it
without permission. (Great, now instead of one person who can sue, I got
two...) Also, Moby Dick and Star Trek are not mine either. (Really??)
Notes: Filk. A very short piece on a few ideas I had.
Archive?: YES please do! Just ask first and send a link of where you post
it.
***
Deep in the uncharted territories Moya travel along its path, lost,
like the small crew on board her. The ship had traveled for over a week
without stopping. It was traveling a large expanse of space with few
habituated planets. Inside the gigantic living ship John Crichton peered
around the entry way into the large room he had been looking for with
Pilot's help. He hadn't see Aeryn all day, with the lack of anything at the
moment out to get them, the meager crew of Moya had gone their separate ways.
With the DRD's maintaining most of Moya's systems the crew themselves had little
to do. After walking around the ship literally five times, John had asked Pilot
if he knew were Aeryn was. He figured she would be as bored as he, and maybe
would wish to just talk, or rip off his arm. 'Peace Keeper PMS' he often
thought silently to himself. The problem was both male and female Sebaceans
seemed to be effected. All the time.
Pilot had been quite cheerful, surprising as it was, and told him
where Aeryn was. He also told him about her request not that long before.
"What she up to?"
"She requested that I power up one of the lower deck viewing
portals." He said simply.
"Viewing portal?"
"It is a larger version of the holographic display on the bridge."
"Oh, like a holodeck on Star trek?" He waved his hand in apology at
Pilot at his puzzled reaction. "Don't mind me, I am just the crazy Human."
"Of this I have no doubt most of the time." The green alien said
inwardly as he faded from view.
He had wondered what Aeryn would spend her time looking at. John
looked around the dark room in amazement. It was as if someone had shrunken
the night time sky and placed it in the small room. He stepped inside. As
his eyes adjusted to the light level he could see Aeryn looking straight at
him.
"I am sorry to interrupt, I just..." He sputtered.
"You are wasting away on this ship, for lack of anything to do?" She
finished for him. She understood better than he did, she was a fighter, a
soldier. The stillness of the ship bothered her like nothing ever had in her
life, not that she would dare show it to anyone.
"This is so incredible, we have something like this at home, but not
like this... it just feels so real, like we were planet side." John knew how
important that image was to her, the rough and strong Aeryn Sun image, and
didn't press her. She smiled faintly at that. "What sky are we looking at?"
He walked over to join her.
"My home planet, or I should say home world, to my people. I was not
born there." John nodded, his eyes still up at the generated heavens.
"Have you ever seen them in person?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't
leap all over him for the too personal a question. She thought about it,
then spoke.
"Yes. When I was younger, twelve cycles old. It was a brief visit,
the training ship I was stationed on stopped there for a few arhns." She
looked over with a faint smile, then looked away. It was no use, he had seen
it. "I snuck out to see what my home world looked like, after hearing about
it so much I was curious. I remember thinking how faint the sky looked,
after seeing the stars up close." She frowned.
"What happened?" He had feeling this story ended badly.
"I was caught, and punished for my disobedience. I never forgot what
my curiosity got me." John looked back at her, and saw only the stern Peace
Keeper standing next to him. He looked away. It was such a damn shame, some
times Aeryn let down her guard, he saw... hell he didn't know what he saw,
but he knew there was more in there than she was letting on, a person with a
heart. He couldn't help grimacing at the thought, if she heard him say that
she most likely would rip out his tongue and hold it over him to prove him
wrong...
... He stopped in mid thought as he looked up at the sky again. with
a gasp as if some one had hit him and the near mindless thought of panic and
shock. He wondered why the little dipper was looking down upon him.
"AERYN!" He gasped, his eyes not leaving the heavens.
"What is it?" She watched him spin around, his eyes still up looking
up, seeking out more of the sky.
"My God Aeryn..."
"What!" She hissed. After the short time she has know him, she had
long ago gotten use to his dazzled expression at simple things.
"The stars..." He whispered, then for the first time met her gaze.
He licked his lips quickly then looked up again. "How long had Sebacean's
lived on this planet?"
"What? ... I don't know... its our home world... Why?"
He pointed to a cluster of stars. "Because either this universe is a
lot more warped than I thought... or that's Orion's belt I see. And there,
that way... that's the big dipper."
"What? What are you babbling about?"
"Constellations Aeryn, on my world we named the patterns in the
stars by certain names. The stars in this sky are the same, well almost, one
of the stars in the dipper is completely gone... but as I remember, it was
going to go out soon." He looked down to her, griping her arms tightly. "You
realize what I am saying? I never left. Except in time... Its why we look so
similar, but different..."
"Are you saying that I am a descendent of..."
"The world I left behind. But the stars are slightly different."
"Maybe you are picking out patterns you wish to see?"
"No, it all fits! The patterns with time would drift, or change with
a huge amount of time. Why we look and are the same physically..."
'The Peace Keepers are humanity's future?' he could not help
thinking... 'No!' He refused to believe that. He pulled away from Aeryn.
'Dad? DK? Everyone he left behind? Gone?' At a wild guess when he compared
how advanced Sebacean's were to what he left... he knew all that he had know
would be dust, if even that still existed long ago. He ran his fingers
through his hair... 'My God! No wonder they treat me like a idiot! I am a
freekin Neanderthal compared to...'
"John?"
He didn't hear her. His mind was running fast, piece by piece
everything fell into place, the stars, the people who looked just like him,
how he had traveled all this way -or so he had thought! He had never figured
that one thing... in theory wormholes could span space, AND OR time. But it
was just a theory... hell, wormholes and black holes themselves were just
theories until he came here... Why not toss time into the equation as well?
He couldn't face this. He bolted from the room.
"JOHN!" She yelled, and ran after him.
He ran fast, he had never been anything close to a Olympic quality
runner, but his legs carried him. He just couldn't face Aeryn, or anyone for
that matter. Now more than ever he was aware of how much he didn't belong in
this universe. The small voice in the back of his head told him it was
pointless to run; where would he go to?
'You can't run John, not from this... you’re stuck here... in this
sick twisted version of a universe... On this ship with a insane military
commander with an Ahab complex on your tail. Its only a matter of time
before you run into him again. It's just a matter of time before you die
here... no home, no one to care or love you. Alex is gone with the rest.
Ashes to ashes... Nothing to see afterward, your brush with death taught you
that.'
He pushed himself faster, not caring where he went, except the part
of him that wished it was over.
***
Aeryn chased him down the tier and onto the next. Part of her
wondered why she bothered. Why chase him? But she knew... she knew his mind
was reeling from having his world uplifted and overturned. He didn't know
how to deal with it.
"D'Argo" She yelled into her link, even with her training she could
feel her legs begin to tire. John had adrenaline on his side, that and she
had noticed the Human was fast... 'Human?' If John was right... No, he
couldn't be. He just couldn't.
"What is it Aeryn?" D'Argo finally answered.
"Help me calm down Crichton..." She gasped into the link.
'What is..."
"I will explain later, I think he may do something stupid. Tier
nine. Bring Zhaan. Hurry." She heard him say something in Luxan that her
microbes could not translate, and then the line went dead. Aeryn ran, she
had lost sight to John, but still could hear his quickly retreating footfall
further down the corridor.
She came to a stop when she noticed she could no longer hear him...
Where was he? She knew he could not have out distanced her, he had to be
near by. She looked around, long rows of doors which lined the wall. She was
in the crews quarters section of the ship. He could be in any of the rooms.
"John?" She called out, hoping he would hear. Why are you even
bothering? She wondered, maybe it was best to just leave him be... he'll
come out when he wants, or at the very least when he gets hungry.
She opened a door and looked inside. She knew why she was bothering... She
closed the door and looked in another. You care for him, you admitted as
much after you caught him with Gilina. She closed her eyes in
irritation with herself over the memory. So stupid... she thought. Why had
she told him?
Aeryn peered into another room, she heard breathing. 'John?' Without
thinking her hand went down to her weapon. She walked slowly inside, she
spotted him on the far side of the room curled up on the far side of a chair
on the floor. She walked over or him. She kneeled down next to him. His
expression was blank, his eyes never left the wall in front of him.
"Hey", she whispered, remembering back to the time he had used that
odd greeting on her.
"You don't need to worry about me." He said dead tone.
"I think you need to talk." He looked over at her. "Think of it as a
pay back for all the times you bothered me."
"All right." He said simply. He looked to her like a ghost of his
former self, as if he had aged many years in the short distance he had run.
He hadn't given her his normal odd quip in reply.
"Are you sure?" She asked, knowing he would know what she meant.
He looked away from her and sighed heavily. "Aeryn, I am a
scientist, a Tech if you will." He started to laugh at the thought. "I spent
most of my life studying the sky, one thing I should hope to know now is
what my home sky looked like."
"But you said they were slightly different."
"Yeah, Aeryn," he turned to face her again, becoming more wrapped up
in what he was saying. "Stars are not a constant, they change and shift,
fade and are born..." His voice faded as they looked at each other in
several minutes of silence. "They are all gone, what I knew. Before I always
took comfort in the fact that everyone back home would be were okay."
Aeryn stared at him. "That has always been my thought as well, until
the Zelbineum."
"Two lost people on a living ship who can never go home?" He asked.
She met his eyes. He then bowed his head and leaned forward, Aeryn tensed
not knowing what he...
He rested his head on her shoulder without thinking. She sat
perfectly still not knowing how to respond and was startled when he reached
up and pulled her to him tightly. She had told him grief was never shown,
that it was viewed as a weakness. But she felt it all the same. His pain,
his loss.
She understood.
Comfort. she thought. she knew she should pull away, but didn't. She
reached up and held him back, gently resting her lips against his brow. She
pushed away the voice that told her to stop. Why? Why bother?
She had lost all she had known too. No one to make her stop, to follow...
She bushed her lips over his brow.
The first sobs that racked his body took her by surprise He buried
his face in her hair and let go.
Aeryn listened to him cry, running her own fingers through his hair.
She knew the only reason she allowed him this, her comforting him... she
carried for him. She gritted her teeth at the thought, but she knew she
could not deny it. Ever since he had come into her life, turning hers upside
down she had suspected. She had tried to scare him away, but it never seemed
to work. He remained, at that moment he was one of those few constants in
her life. Before it had been her duty, her training, her fellow comrades.
Tears stung her eyes. This damn Human's grief was infectious.
She heard the door open and tensed, slowly she turned her head to
see D'Argo and Zhaan with several DRD's at there feet. 'Please... not now.'
She thought, but didn't pull away from the sobbing Human who was a oblivious
of their audience. Shame burned her cheeks. She was a Peace Keeper, to let
some one see her like this holding a weeping... She stopped.
Was.
She wasn't a Peace Keeper any longer. This was her punishment this
time, when they had been recalled by comand she had pushed her ship ahead,
ignoring the call. She sighed, consigning herself to her fate.
With the DRD's Pilot got a good view of her as well. 'Why not just
broadcast her and Crichton to Crais's ship?' She thought with irritation.
Zhaan seemed to sense Aeryn's thought, and rested a hand on D'Argo's
arm and pulled him back from the odd picture. The door shut behind them,
Aeryn saw Zhaan faintly nod her head.
She noticed that John was being to calm down, then stopped and
pulled away. He kept his eyes down. "I am sorry Aeryn, I know how you feel
about..." He got up and moved to leave but she stopped him. He looked down
at her hand.
"Uh, thanks... for... I have just been bottling up everything since
I got here, you could say this... it was the straw that broke the..." He
babbled on, not knowing what else to say.
"You’re welcome." She said, a bit to sharply. If it had been anyone
else, John would have thought the person was upset at him, but with Aeryn,
she had the same look on her face as when she had spit out she had feeling
for him... for a moment, he added. Come on John, its your typical boy meets
girl and are stuck together in a scary place with no way out scenario. Its
just...
She looked up at him. He knew that look. He has seen it before.
'This is not happening, this is not happening.' He thought. Without
thinking he moved closer to her. She didn't back away. 'Come on Aeryn, hit
me or something.' he dared. Instead she closed the gap between them and
rested her hand on his chest slowly sliding it up to his cheek, then over
along the side of his face to rest against his brow. His mind spun back to
the kiss, when they were stuck in the Flax and they thought they were about
to die. The promise they made to each other rang out in his mind. 'But never
is such a very long time.' He thought before he leaned down and kissed her.
This time it was different, their remaining life was not being counted in
minutes. Once he got over the initial shock of what he was doing, and the
fact he was still alive, he realized Aeryn was nervous.
Nervous? Her? Maybe Sebaceans don't kiss? Heck, he didn't have a
clue. He decided to try something he hoped she liked. Pulling away he took
her face in his hands and kissed her brow. He smiled as her heard her sigh,
and gently covered the smooth skin over her eyebrow with tiny kisses. The
curiosity was killing him, he had to know.
"Aeryn, do Sebaceans kiss" he asked, running his thumb over her
lips, "like this?"
"No... I.. I don't know." John could feel his eyes go glassy, like a
deer stuck in an oncoming headlight of a car at night with what she had just
confessed to him. "You mean..." He sputtered not knowing how in heck to
finish that sentence.
"Duty came first, I never had the time, ...or the person I wish to
be with."
"You could have fooled me." He looked at her in disbelief, she
looked pleased at that! He shook his head and drew her into another embrace.
"John?" She asked.
"Yeah." She pulled away and kissed him suddenly. 'Yup, she
definitely wants to do this...' He deepened the kiss, noticing she was not
nearly as awkward as before. Her lips were so warm and soft, so unlike in
behavior to the person they belonged to. All other thoughts fled his mind...
"Attention! Peace Keeper vessel approaching." Pilots voice ran out
with illperfect timing. The two jumped apart at his words.
"There she blows- she blows!- she blows!- right ahead!" John called
out. Aeryn looked at him with her common look which said that he had gone
mad. "A book, its a story of a man who hunts something beyond all common
sense." He explained.
"Ah," she said. "I don't believe I will ever understand you
Crichton." She added, and moved to leave the room. He stopped by resting his
hand on her shoulder, and leaned over close to her ear.
"Now we can't have that, it would make me incredibly boring real
fast."
He didn't see her smile as she walked out and broke into a jog down
the hall, he followed her. When it rains it pours, he thought. It seemed
this place hit him with miles of information in a very short time. His
thoughts wandered back to home, and the stars that confirmed it was closer
and farther away than he ever thought. He remembered back to when he was kid
looking up at the night sky with his Dad, and the crazy wishes he had made
then, he had no idea were some of his wishes would get him. To be like his
Dad and travel to the moon and beyond. 'I wish I may, I wish...' he thought,
but what would be wish for now? Home? Fate had granted him that in the
cruelest way posible. Home, but he could never go there, the people who
lived there would kill him. To wish for some one to care for, to care for
him? He looked on to Aeryn's retreating form, maybe. Just maybe...
If she didn't kill him first.
Fin
*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*~-~*
Please direct all rants, Morian Death Spiders, and free web
space to me at the email above or below. Ah, come on! With
a name like that, they ought to make GREAT pets!! :P
-Browny :)
Browny_@email.com
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Labyrinth/3007/farscape/